The responsibility of planning a wedding not just rests on the shoulders of the couple, but also their parents - especially the mom. The following are some of the tips for mother of the bride on things to do during her son or daughter's wedding.
Talk About Money
An engagement ceremony can get everyone excited, but that doesn't mean you should overlook the financial part of things. Initiating the money talk is important to define the boundaries for how much to spend. Discuss things with your husband and then bring the bride and groom into the conversation.
Know Your Role and Execute
Determine what things your son or daughter would need help with and let them know you'll always be accessible in case they need you. If there is something you think is missing, bring it up with the couple whenever the time is right.
Dress Appropriately for the Event
It doesn't matter if you are the bride or the groom's mother, as a part of the immediate family, you are expected to dress in a particular way. Ensure your dress is in line with the wedding's style and theme, if there's one. If you aren't sure about the dress code, ask and confirm things. Both the groom and the bride's mother should be in constant connect with each other and the soon-to-marry couple.
The bride would let you know what she will be wearing and also what the wedding colors would be like. As a mom, you need not replicate in terms of design and color what the couple is wearing, but the style and color you pick should bear some similarity to theirs.
Learn About the Guests
Know what the guest list expectations are from the groom and bride. You can't really be sure about the event's scale on your own. The couple could be planning for a grandeur event with all friends and relatives being part of the mix, or the event could be a more closed and personal affair. Know what the guest list plans are and your contribution - the other mom and dad would also like to be in the know.
Choose Your Priorities
There are certain things that cannot be omitted in a wedding. However, not all things require micro level attention. If you place too much importance on every minute detail that meets your eye, you would not likely be of any help. In fact, you'll cause unnecessary headaches for yourself and the couple. Therefore, take a judicious approach to things and choose issues that are worth your time and effort.
Get to Know the Parents
In case you have not already met, it is important to meet your daughter or son's in-laws after the engagement. The couple would give you a head start on this, but if they don't, do not hesitate to take things upon yourself. Let your daughter or son know how excited you and your husband are to meet his or her in-laws. When meeting the parents on the other side, express in words or in the way you speak how happy you are about the prospect of the two families coming together. For the meeting, a dinner at a quiet and pleasant restaurant would be ideal.
Backup Your Kid
At times, wedding guests could be slightly unreasonable. For instance, they may ask for an additional serving at the banquet, too much interaction with the groom or bride, or want an opportunity for their kids to exhibit their talents during the ceremony. During such circumstances, your responsibility is to take all the bullets and not let these issues bog down or eat up the couple's time. If there are guests complaining, handle the situation tactfully and not give a blind eye and ear. When you handle things properly during the event, you would likely ensure three things:
1) the guests would feel better
2) the groom and bride need not waste their energy and time on such matters
3) most importantly, your guests won't get away with anything and everything they want.
Keeping the Bride or Groom in Control
At times, not only the guests, even the bride and/or groom may bring up unreasonable requests. In such scenarios, it is important you let the couple touch base with reality and what's within and what's not within reach. As a mother, it is your responsibility to lend a shoulder to cry whenever the kid asks for, but if the bride and groom are not helping themselves and only making things difficult to handle, you will have to tame down their excitement.
In case their attention to detail is pushing you to your limits, remind them the wedding is just a one-day affair and it's not going to determine how their lives shape up. It is love and understanding that will ascertain their future.